16. Oktober 2017

I'm afraid to think.
I'm afraid to be alone with my head.
My imagination is gigantic and I do not know what happens when I think too much.
But what would life be without fear ...

I am a hopeless romantic, I believe in true love.
And I want a prince. I want someone who has always been shown to me in all the damn fairy tales.
Someone who fights for me, someone who likes me as much as I do.
I often do not feel good enough. I often feel that everyone else is better than me and live in a competitive struggle with all the other people who surround me day by day.

The meaning of life is versatile and everyone understands something else, but for me it is clearly love.
Only the question is whether I will ever find this love, whether it is worth all the hopeless attempts, the constant injury, and always to doubt itself.

Women today are always taught to be strong, have a strong character, but sometimes they do not succeed.
Sometimes I'm weak and I'm expected to cover up the weakness.
This is why I feel uncomfortable weakness and think, if it comes to such a moment, to be too weak. Not to be enough that something is wrong with me. But I must understand and accept that it is normal. But I can not do this, if I am always being confused: I have to hide my weaknesses and always show strength.
I am vulnerable and this is often overlooked ...

Every day I try to distract myself as much as I can, so I do not begin to think, and in the meantime I have the feeling that I have forgotten to think.

What happens when I think about things? Will it help me open up new dimensions, bring me closer, or will I just be strange and depressed?